Evanescent
by XxbLiNdArTiStxX
Summary: I shoved my clothes into my trunk and practically threw Lynard and Skynard into their cages before grabbing my wand. I couldnt handle it anymore. The mark burned on my left forearm and tears prickled in my eyes. I was scarred forever. I grabbed my bags and placed the note on my bed. "Im sorry guys. I love you. Bye James. Bye Sirius. We will meet again." With a crack, I was gone.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Guess what, guys. Im not J.K. Rowling. If I was, I wouldnt have published Harry Potter the way it was. You can all guess who I own and who I dont, so dont come crying to me about anything. Understood? Great. This is also your one and only warning to leave.**

_Prologue:_

A small, dark haired girl stood in front of a mirror, scantily dressed, her arms hanging loosely at her sides. Her reflection stared back at her, face full of dread, disappointment and self-loathing. She was small, with pale skin and piercing blue eyes, and her lips held a strange blue tinge to them. Her cheeks lacked the slight red that normal people usually had, and her eyes were dull and lifeless. She was dressed in lacy lingerie, blue to match her eyes, barely covered the stuff they were supposed to still cover. Her legs were pressed together tightly, and she folded her arms across her chest, shrugging her shoulders up slightly and pressing her arms into her body. She was cold and felt vulnerable. She hated feeling vulnerable.

The room was dull and bare aside from the king size, four poster bed that sat in the middle of the room on the car wall, the mirror and a dresser with extra clothes of all shapes and sizes. Most of the clothes were for men, but there was a drawer all by itself that was womens clothing, made just for her. She winced when she heard the door opening and closing downstairs, followed by a cry of her name. She slowly pulled away from the mirror and walked towards the door, reaching on hand out to open it, only for it to open before she reached it. A man in a dark cloak smirked at her as he stepped into the room and closed the door again behind her. He looked at her wide eyes, her beautiful dark hair that tumbled down to her waist, and her pale skin like milk. She recognized him immediatly and whimpered, as she stepped back.

"Well, well, isnt this a surprise." The man was only a few years older than her, and he pulled his cloak off and dropped it, showing off a black on black suit that fit to his large, muscular form. He wasnt bad looking, but he wasnt gorgeous either, with dirty blonde hair, pale blue eyes and tan skin. He was beefy, bulging against the suit, as he pulled off his jacket and started to unbutton his shirt, walking towards her slowly. She backed up until she was pinned against the foot of the bed. Avery continued walking towards her and smirked, coming to stand only centimeters from her. "Come on, sweetie, dont be scared." She closed her eyes and bit her cheek, her breathing deep and she was struggling to keep control. She felt his hands on her, on her hips and her chest. He kissed her neck and pushed her roughly back onto the bed. She yelped and scrambled backward. Avery laughed.

He pulled his shirt off, and she did have to admit, he had a nice body. But that didnt make this any less traumatizing or heartbreaking for her. This wasnt the first time she was being sold out either. Although she knew her parents didnt want this for her, they didnt even try to stop it from happening. Her body began to shake with silent sobs as Avery pushed his pants down and stepped out of them, crawling onto the bed over her. He placed his mouth on hers and sucked on her lower lip, his hands trailing down her body. He unclasped her bra, practically ripped it off her and then started on her underwear. She shivered angrily and cursed him in her mind, wishing to anything that she would wake up and it would all be a terrible nightmare and she would be an innocent 10 year old once again. Avery grabbed her panties and ripped them off her, before he pushed his own underwear down and the torture truly began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Guess what, guys. Im not J.K. Rowling. If I was, I wouldnt have published Harry Potter the way it was. You can all guess who I own and who I dont, so dont come crying to me about anything. Understood? Great. **

_Chapter One:_

"KIMBERLY JANE ROSIER!" I groaned as some god-awful person screamed at me from beside my bed. My curtains were ripped back and sunlight filtered in from the window beside my bed. I moaned, pulling my knees up to my chest and tucking my head under my blanket, trying to bring myself back into darkness and fall back asleep. "Rosier, I swear, if you dont get up, I will kick you down the stairs. The boys are looking for you." I moaned again, shaking my head, telling her in inaudible mumbles that I didnt care and to go away. Lily Evans growled as I kicked out with my foot, hitting her in the thigh. She ripped the blankets off of me, tossing them over the foot of my bed and onto my trunk before shoving me off my bed and onto the floor. I landed with a yelp and sat up, rubbing my eyes and glaring at her on the other side of my bed. She matched my glare head on.

Lily Evans was a tall, beautiful redhead with big, green eyes and pale skin dotted with light freckles across her nose and cheeks. But despite her gorgeous looks, she always seemed to have her nose in a book. She was the top of our year, with practically perfect scores, and not a single blemish on her record. But despite all that, she was a stuck up prude and I hated her ever since our first encounter on the train when she told me that I was rude, obnoxious and needed to learn manners. Since then, we have been enemies, and I didnt give two fucks about the little infatuation my fraternal brother, James Potter, had with her. I would hate her until the day I died.

"That," I huffed, blowing a long strand of curly black hair from my face, "Was rude." Lily lifted her nose in the air, sniffed, and headed across the room to her bed, which was farthest away from mine. She grabbed a book and laid on her bed, ripping it open to the center of the book and ignored me. I rolled my eyes at her childish antics- although I really wasnt any better, but who cares- and stood up, walking over to my dresser where I had quickly shoved my clothes before kicking my suitcase beneath my bed, before I fell asleep. I was still in my uniform, my skirt riding up to my belly button, my blouse pulled halfway around my body, and my knickers riding up in odd places. My tie was discarded with the sheets somewhere. I would find that later. I pulled out a pair of cropped sweatpants that cinched at my knees and a Scotland Rugby jersey, stripping down to my pink knickers and leopard print bra, before pulling on my knew clothes, kicking my uniform into the corner between my dresser and bed. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail on the top of my head, feeling it fall lopsided, and not caring all that much.

Grabbing my wand and placing it in my waistband of my sweats, I slipped my feet into a pair of strappy sandles before leaving the dorm and the PMSing Lily Evans with it. Walking into the common room, not many peoples were there anymore aside from a couple snogging in the corner, a group of 7th year jocks that werent even on the Quidditch team, a couple newly sorted first years, a couple of my dormmates and my four best friends, the infamous Marauders. They had claimed the chairs and couch infront of the fireplace, as per usual, and were lounging about, Sirius and James playing a game of exploding snap. I smiled as I approached them.

James Potter was a tall boy, a few inches over six feet, with unruly black hair that stood in every direction and really couldnt be tames, and round rimmed glasses always falling down his nose. He had pale skin and dark hazel eyes. He was skinny, but fit from the many times I had seen him changing in the Quidditch changing rooms. He and I had immediatly formed a sibling-like bond the minute we met after we were both sorted into Gryffindor in our first years. Since then, he has always been overprotective and motherlike to me, and I, the same way.

Sirius Black, ah the infamous man whore of the school. He was gorgeous, to say the least, and I mean that with all the sibling-love in the world. He was a couple inches shorter than James, with messy black hair that fell to just below his ears, and bright grey eyes. He had perfect facial structure, and a body that could make _any_ girl faint (Im pretty sure McGonagall almost did when she accidentally walked in on him and a girl practically shagging in a broom cupboard). He and I have a very close bond, because we have gotten into the same prediciment with our families, both of us should have been sorted into Slytherin. Obviously, thats not the case and our families arent exactly peachy about it. As much as I deny it, I do have some feeling for the bloke, but I refuse to be other notch on his bedpost.

My dear friend Remus Lupin, the one with the furry problem once a month, who sits away from the rest of us half the time reading some dry book about Merlin-Knows-what, is the brainiack of our little group. He, like Lily, always had his nose in a book and was second in our class. He was the first person I met when coming to Hogwarts, and although we didnt become friends quite as quickly as he and the boys did, we have come to live with each other. Like the boys, I have become an animagus for him, however, I was registered with McGonagall. She thought I was just doing it for funzies like her, however Dumbledore knew what we did. Remus was tall, about the same height as James, with pale skin and some pale, white scars that covered his face and chest. He had sandy blonde hair that was getting a shade darker every year, and distant blue eyes. Despite how he would often participate in our pranking shenanigans, he more like not sit out and shake it head at us, wondering _why_ we were his friends.

And finally, Peter Pettigrew. I was never fond of him, a chubby boy, who was the shortest of them all, however quite tall compared to me, with dirty blonde hair that was slicked back and stopped at the base of his neck, and slightly bucked teeth that were more mouse-like than rabbit. All in all, he basically followed us around and copied what James and Sirius did. He and I didnt interact very much, and on more than one occasion he had mumbled something about me that I didnt like, causing me to go into a bitch fit.

"Hey Rosier!" I stopped when I heard my name coming from my left, where the group of 7th years sat in front of the book shelves. I groaned and rolled my eyes as I saw Eric Wood motion me over. I sighed and turned my direction towards the group of boys who were sitting around Wood, a couple sitting on the tables, leaning against the book cases or on the floor. I stopped when I was about five feet away from them and placed my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?" I asked him. He was smirking at me and looking me over, specifically looking at my shirt, or possibly just my chest in general. I knew he was Scottish, so either one would be possible.

"Go out with me? This weekend? Hogsmead?" He asked. He had a cocky smirk on his lips and he was positioning himself in the chair to show off his muscles of his pecks and arms. Really not attractive to me.

"No." I turned on my heel to head back over to my friends, only to have him grab my hand and pull me back. He pulled hard enough that I stumbled, falling into his lap, causing his arms to wrap tightly around my waist. I hissed and tugged away from him, but he only laughed. "Ge'off!" I barked, stomping my foot down hard on his own, causing him to yelp like a little girl. I stumbled off his lap, turning around, my glare meeting his own. "Damn, when a girl says no, dont dig your hole any deeper by touching her." I turned on my heel and walked quickly over to the couches, where Remus was watching. James and Sirius were too distracted by their game of exploding snap. Some 'brothers' they were. I sat down on the couch with a sigh and leaned back, laughing when James' hand got burned when a card exploded.

"Kimmy!" He cried when he realized I was now in their presence. Both he and Sirius tackled me into a tight hug, making me fall off the couch and onto Sirius, with James on top of me. I groaned and wriggled, trying to get free. James laughed before standing up, taking my hand and pulling me into a standing position as well, while I just smirked and left Sirius lying on the floor, his hands reaching up for someone. James went and sat down as well, while I claimed the other side of the couch and smirked. Sirius gawked and suddenly pouted and crossed his arms, getting comfortable on the floor.

"Well thats just rude." I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Sirius, you know rude is my middle name." He merely rolled his eyes again. "So waht do you guys want?" I asked, "Evans very rudely woke me up and then proceded to glare at me the entire time I was in the dorms. James looked over at me with a sigh.

"I dont know why you guys dont get along." I glanced over at him, raising my eyebrows.

"This coming from the bloke that still cant get her out on a date?" He turned away.

"We missed you!" Sirius yelled like a child, standing up and moving me so that he could sit behind me and I leaned back against him. Ah, the flirt. "I dont get to see you all summer and then when we get here, you dont even come to the feast!" He placed his hand over his heart, "Woman, you are breaking my heart." I laughed and rolled my eyes, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek.

"Well, I do apologize, but you know I never go to the feast." Remus glanced up at me and placed his book down again, for what seemed to be the last time.

"And why is that?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and waved a hand.

"I never get sleep before I come back to Hogwarts. So, I just skip the feast and sleep until you send Ms. Priss up to harass me and get me out of bed." I stated as I kicked my legs over James' lap and leaned my head back against Sirius' chest. He wrapped an arm lazily around my waist, which I didnt mind in the slightest.

"Aw, well you can come sleep in my bed." I could hear the smirk in his voice, until a lady-like yelp came from behind me when I reached my hand up and flicked him in the temple. "What!? You do every year, practically all year round!" I laughed.

"It was the way you said it, love." I waited with the boys for a little longer, listening to their summers. Sirius had already owled me this summer saying how he had moved in with the Potters after a very...interesting fight with his mother. I knew where he was going with that, and I wanted to floo over to the Black House as soon as I got the letter to beat some sense into the god-awful woman. But from what I heard, the rest of the summer was a blast for Sirius and James. Remus told me about how he, similar to me, spent most of his time reading the many books that were collected in his bedroom, and suffered through three full moons without the boys. I sent him my sympathy, which he immediately waved off and returned to this book after saying some sarcastic remark directed toward James, which I didnt may attention to. I didnt bother to ask Peter, seeing as the little rat (I mean that figuratively and literally) was already asleep ten minutes after I had arrived downstairs, and was laying with his feet kicked over one arm of the chair, and his head falling off towards the ground. No one bothered to say anything about it. After a few more minutes, I swung my legs onto the ground and stood up, feeling the wonderful popping of my joints and back, as I made a quick stretch.

"Alright, boys, if you need me I will be in the kitchen." They waved me off as I headed towards the portrait hole, flicking out my wand and waving a disillusioning charm over myself, seeing as I honestly didnt want to bother with James' cloak, and left the common room. The fat lady didnt even bother to wake up, as she was so used to my comings and goings at the late hours of the night. I would wake her up when I came back from whatever fantastic journey I was on, whether to the kitchens or the forbidden forest, and she usually would wave me in without a word said from either of us. She had gotten so used to it by the time I was in 3rd year that she stopped complaining and just accepted that I was indeed a night owl.

Walking quickly through the halls, I remained silent and slid past prefects, leapt over Mrs. Norris, and pranked Filch a little bit by kicking him in the rump, before I made my trek into the dungeons and came to stand at the portrait of the fruit. I tickled the pear and stepped through the portal before taking the charm off myself and flounced into the vacent kitchen. I never really knew what happened to the House elves after dinner. I knew they spent all day long slaving away at making the three meals they fed us, but I wasnt all that sure that house elves actually, well, _slept_. I had never seen one sleep before, and I had never heard of giving them beds or anything. So where did they go? _Was there some sort of House elf bar that no one ever heard of? Hmm, I mean, whatever floats your boat...Maybe they went and had parties like we do...I think House elves like fire whiskey._ I smirked to myself as I went to the fridge and pulled out all the necessary ingredients to make myself a sandwich. I could make a **kick ass** sandwich, if I do say so myself.

I took the roll and cut it in half, laying the two halves next to each other and slathered an excessive amount of mayo onto both of the slices. I then folded slices of salami and ham onto the bread, followed by slices of tomato and leaves of lettuce. I gently started to sing to myself as I followed everything with a large glob of guacamole, and pressed the top of the roll onto the sandwich. Throwing the knife into the sink, I went to the pantry and found some chips, placing them on the plate beside my sandwich before returning the bag. "Maybe I should cry for help, maybe I should kill my self. Blame it on my A.D.D. baby." I pulled myself onto the counter and crossed my legs, popping a chip into my mouth with a small smile.

'Sail' by AWOLNATION had become a staple in my life since the summer of fifth year. It was something that reminded me that I couldnt go back to my bad habits of drug and alcohol dependency. It told me that I needed to focus everything into something else, something that would help take my mind off of everything if only for a little while, something I could put my heart and soul into.

I grew up fast with the life I live. I have a family that hates me and uses me for anything. I had a hard time making friends because of my family. I have done things at such a young age that people wouldnt know what to say if I were to tell them. Second year was the first year that I actually brought drugs to Hogwarts and smuggled them in. Weed and coke, my two best friends for what seemed to be forever. People never noticed when I would come to class high- the red eyes could easily be played off as lack of sleep, and a quick shower easily got rid of the smell. Coke was easy too, especially at parties when no one was sober enough to know that it wasnt sugar. I was in the clear for three years before Lily Evans caught me one day in our dorm snorting a line. I didnt even have time to finish the line before she was out the door and in Dumbledore's office.

Thats when I had to tell them everything. Evans only knew about my drug dependency, but now...now two people know my biggest secret, everything about my secret, double life. Dumbledore and McGonagall put me on a magical type of rehab for me to do at my house, through owl. I wasnt sure how it was going to work at first, but most of it depended on me. Dumbledore placed a charm on me where he would know if I started using again, and McGonagall sent me suggestions in her letters about how I could help myself when I was alone. Becoming an animagus was one. And so I did.

I wasnt a registered animagus, but both McGonagall and Dumbledore helped me become one. My family left on a trip to Russia and at that time, I went to Hogwarts and started my training as an animagus. McGonagall and Snape already had my potion ready, it was just a matter of _becoming_ the animal I was on the inside. After that week, I would sneak out and floo to Hogwarts, where I would have a couple hours of training with McGonagall in the wee hours of the night, before I would head home. Those were some rough weeks with lack of sleep.

And aside from being an animagus, I got into gymnastics. Working with my body was something I was good at, and being able to train my body, to _control _ my body, not only helped get me over my drug and alcohol addiction, but it helped me to emotionally stabilize myself when my parents had me _working_. Being in gymnastics gave me a whole different outlook on myself, that when I came back to Hogwarts for my 5th year, I felt like I could actually belong with the friends I had, I could actually be happy and not have to worry about what anyone else thought of me.

I only have two more years before I could completely leave the hell hole that was my house, and thinking about that, my lips curled into a smile. I slipped off the counter and cleaned the dishes, placing them back in their original places before replacing the disillusioning charm over myself and padding up to the common room. The fat lady was asleep when I revealed myself at the top of the 7th floor steps and lightly rapped on her frame. She jerked, looking around before her tired eyes landed on me and waved a chubby hand, her portal opening. I gave her a small smile before slipping in. The fire was still burning, but the boys had gone to bed, including Peter. Following their lead, I made my way up to the 6th year girls dorms and slipped inside. All of my roommates were asleep as I came to sit on my window sill, a small nest of blankets and pillows waiting for me, and I stared up at the stars.


End file.
